Your wedding vows are the focus of your entire wedding ceremony – they’re an affirmation of your relationship and a declaration of the promises you make to your partner. Writing your vows can also be one of the most difficult parts of wedding planning.

If you’re not naturally gifted with words, it can be impossible to articulate your feelings without coming across like a bad romance novel. Don’t worry – writing your own vows doesn’t have to be as difficult as you thought.

Brainstorm with Your Partner Like every other major aspect of wedding planning, writing your vows should begin with a discussion with your partner. Grab a pen and paper and jot down some ideas. Talk about the principles and ideals that have guided your relationship, and the promises you want to make to each other. Write down all your ideas – even if they seem silly, cliché or soppy.

Writing the vows Go over everything you’ve written down and pull passages and fragments to incorporate into your vows. You could do this together, or separately, keeping your vows secret until the wedding day. Your vows don’t have to be a work of art. All that matters is that you’re sincere – and that you don’t waffle on for pages! You can express a lot with a few well-chosen phrases.

Ask your celebrant to look over your vows and help you express your ideas. They can fix clumsy wording and suggest alternative phrases to make your vows truly beautiful.

Exchanging Vows Most couples read them aloud during their wedding ceremony. When you declare your vows to each other in the presence of your friends and family, you’re making your commitment public and official. Ensure you give your celebrant a copy before the ceremony. It’s not recommended that you memorise your vows – with all the emotion of the day you’re liable to forget them! You’re better of reading them.

Writing your own wedding vows can be a tough creative challenge, especially if you’re not good at expressing yourself in words. But when you’re standing before your family and friends and looking into the eyes of your partner, you’ll be glad you took the time to create vows that reflect your own ideals and relationship.

And remember, your celebrant has good experience with this aspect and will be more than willing to help you!

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